Job Interview Interview

I just got interviewed by C.V. Hunt over on her website (CLICK HERE). We can all learn a lot from said interview. And while you’re over there, check out some of the fancy stories written by C.V. Hunt. And then order yourself some copies. And then read them.

BMK’s 5 Keys to Creativity

I don’t want to sound like I think I’m some kind of expert on being creative. Folks have said I’m very creative, and I appreciate that. I thought I’d share three key pieces of my creative method today so you can all expand your own powers of creation.

1. Sob Openly in Public

Really let go with the bawling and the crying and stuff. Roll on the ground. Blow your nose on your shirt. I know what you’re saying. “Brent, I’ll look like a crazy person.” Maybe you will. And maybe people will call the authorities to report a deranged person causing a scene in the grocery store. Let the squares freak out. You’re operating on a higher level.

2. Send Me Money

Remember these are only suggestions. Like, I suggest you send $100. More is welcome, of course. Less is okay, I guess, because I know how things have been. Yeah, it’s tight everywhere. Sometimes you have to have an all out crying fit in the grocery store to get them to take your expired Nutella coupon. Just be careful not to go overboard, because they’re apt to call the authorities. Freaking squares.

3. Harness Sub-Reality By Reshaping Your Frontal Lobe With High Powered Magnets

To really tap into your inner creative beast, you’ll need to get some big, strong magnets. Once you get them, contact me for step 2. Do NOT attempt this without my guidance. The slightest miscalculation on your part could render you insane. Or it could make you pee your pants. Don’t take that risk! Or I guess you could get an appropriately sized diaper and have at it. Putting sub-realities to effective use will not be easy. It may even lead to extra-dimensional creatures taking control of your mind. It’ll all be worth it when you paint the best hummingbird this county has seen since 2004!

4. Taste Everything With the Guts of Your Eyeballs and Re-Abstract Your Glandular Electro Cortex

I think this one’s pretty self explanatory. Probably the most important item on this list. My advice? Tattoo this on your forearm. And a loved one’s forearm. Change your dog’s name to it. Change your own name to it. Burn it into the surface of the moon.

5. Get Less Sleep

It is impossible to be productive while unconscious. Whenever you yawn, that’s your body’s way of telling you it’s time to coffee up and rise above. And that is a scientific FACT.*

6. BONUS KEY! Conclude Posts With Pictures

You can start with pictures, too. Nobody’s saying not to. I’m just saying give readers a little reward at the end. Like if you made them chop wood all day in the summer heat, you’d take them out for ice cream. Pictures are the ice cream of the mind, friends. At least they are in this scenario. Like you. You’ve slogged through this whole post, so now you get to look at a picture of something. I have no idea what just yet. I’ll find something, don’t you worry.

Hey, it’s like a race car or something. Neat. Sure looks fast with all them speed lines!

 

*unverified; may not be a “scientific fact”