I’ve been quiet. I haven’t been hunting witches so I can’t give away their fingers and eyes to you, my loyal fans and/or accidental readers. They’re out there, and believe me, they’re DARING me to go out after them. And I will, but I can’t right now. Hey, it doesn’t mean I don’t care. I totally care. Want some proof? Fine, here’s a Wordle that I made (on Wordle.net) for Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater:
There. Now we all feel better about this.
What’s happening is I’m going to be scarce for the next month or so. Going to the mattresses, you might say. Baby plans, home remodeling plans, work plans, and… CHUGGIE plans. I don’t want to say too much. Hell, I don’t even want to say that I don’t want to say too much. If I start talking about it at all, I just know I’m going to blurt a spoiler. CHUGGIE MURDERS SANTA CLAUS ANDIN DOING SO SINKS THE TITANIC. Great, see what you made me do there? Not cool. CHUGGIE IS REALLY ELVIS. Well, I can tell that I should wrap this post up before something CHUGGIE MARRIES FABEN EVEN THOUGH SHE’S A BOOK AND THEIR CHILDREN ARE ALL TRAPPER KEEPERS important falls out of my mouth/typing finger. Whoa… I feel a big one coming on… THE NEXT CHUGGIE BOOK WILL BE RELEASED ON [Edit: Mr. Kelley is in no way authorized to announce publication dates of any novels, especially ones he has not yet written.] WHICH IS A WEDNESDAY.
I think I need to declare April to be a Month of Fury. What’s a Month of Fury? I got the idea from Requiem For a Dream. You have to watch close. The Month of Fury is not significant to the plot. Anyway, what it means is that I will be trying my best to stay away from my known distractions and keeping my nose to the grindstone. There are several projects that are coming due at the end of April, and I’ll have to stay in work mode all month to CHUGGIE SEWS HIS OWN EYES SHUT THEN ATTEMPTS TO LOBOTOMIZE FIVE ORPHANS get them all done.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to put Predator on the TV and get some work done. I ain’t got time to bleed.
Omnium Gatherum, the folks who published Chuggie, have announced a brand new anthology. It’s called Fortune: Lost and Found.
Yes, I am planning to submit to this anthology. I wish I could tell you what I have cooking, but that’s just not possible right now. Sorry, folks. I mean, it IS possible, it just isn’t very likely. Like time travel or learning the guitar.
“Capital, cash, gold, lucre — money makes the world go round. But fortunes easily gained are often painfully lost. Since the very first king pressed his face onto the very first coin no single thing has led so many to ruin. Fortune, it seems, has a dark side and a wickedly evil sense of humor. Curses, plagues and misfortunes rain down on those who dare to tip the scales in their own favor. Fortunes, Lost and Found edited by L.S. Murphy and Kate Jonez is a collection of tales about money and wealth and the potentially horrifying consequences of gaining or losing it. Stories of cursed Pharaoh’s tombs, haunted pirate ships, rare and valuable trinkets found in forgotten places are examples of the type of story we’d like to see. But acquiring a fortune, much like making a deal with the devil, is tricky business often with unexpected consequences. Surprise us with your stories.”
In other news, I have been tinkering with some music. Calling it music is a stretch. A better description would be “ambient horror,” kind of along the lines of Lustmord, if you’re familiar. Wanna listen to it? Listen to it right here. I made it for writing. I’m sure I’ll make more, each spookier than the last. It’s okay if you want to put this song on loop and take a nap.