Depending on how you word things, you can twist anything to mean just about anything else, a fact enjoyed by girlfriends, wives, and mistresses since time began. Watch as I masterfully take something of little consequence from this morning and make it sound like a rant on creativity:
It’s 4am, and I awake with a burning inside my head that cannot be ignored. My eyes flash open and stare at the darkness. My mind races, analyzes, attempts to solve. The fire inside my head has me on my feet. I’ve forgotten about my warm bed. It can offer me no comfort in such a state as this.
The burning in my head will not go away, even hours later as the sun begins to rise. With pen, paper, and coffee, I go about my work. I analyze, I research, I attempt to solve. It’s not for money. It’s not for fame. I do it because I have to. I do it because if I don’t, I won’t be able to sleep at night. And the others like me, they alone truly understand.
Ha! See what I did there? No, you don’t. I’m too enigmatic. Okay, maybe you DO and I’m NOT. I can accept that, but only if it’s true. Because you might THINK you know what it’s really about, but I estimate your chances of knowing are about 1 in 138.25. That is legitimately obtained mathematical figure.
Where’s my coffee? Oh. I drank it. Time to make another one. TO THE KEURIG! I wonder how many coffees I can wack down before Keri wakes up. No, I don’t. The number is 5. I can get 5 coffees into my belly before Keri wakes up. Unless that’s her moving now. Shh… No, she’s still asleep. IT’S A RACE AGAINST TIME! I’m not sure, but I could be bored. Here’s a picture of a fantasy creature I made up the other day:
It’s called a Winged Diamondback Uni-Rattle Cobra. It’s part unicorn, rattlesnake, and cobra. It has wings and gills.
-Herbivore, eats carrots and bugs
-17 feet long
-Amphibious, with both lungs and gills
-Don’t take no guff
-The sound of its rattle is poisonous
-All members of this species are left-handed
Winged Diamondback Uni-Rattle Cobra fan fiction is welcome. Also, as I read my little ranty thing above, I think you’ll guess I have a cold. That’s not even close, but nice try.