Sunsets in April

As a human being with a thirst for adventure, you can’t help but wonder what it’s like for me to ride my bicycle. It keeps you up at night. It tortures you throughout the day. Well, my little baby birds, there’s no reason to claw out your eyes. I’m back with some more sharesies.

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There’ll be a bunch more photos of various sunsets, mostly taken from the same spot (a bridge by my house). They’ll blow your mind. Or, at the very least, they will provide something for your eyes to look at, which is no small feat.

Before that, however, I’ll mention that there’s some super sweet Chuggie stuff in the works. Chuggie On A Stick comes to mind. Good stuff, good stuff. Also a new Chuggie story coming soon. Also just an absolute TON of sunset photos, all taken from the same spot. Seriously, by the end of summer you’ll never want to see another sunset again.

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March Photo Roundup

There are only a few days left in March, and I doubt I’ll do much riding in the next couple days. As promised, here is a selection of photos from Happy Bicycle Ride Action Time Go.

Here was one night:

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Here was a different night:

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I may have gotten a teensy bit carried away adjusting the saturation in that last image. On the other hand, maybe that’s exactly how the scene looked. Here’s more from a different night!

Looking west:
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Looking east:DSC08955

And with that, I leave you. I’ve got to go write something for an anthology that you will probably never hear of. It’s underground to the point I have to write with a shovel on my lap. Seriously, I had to call Diggers Hotline before I started. It’s LITERALLY so far underground I had to LITERALLY rent a hotel room in Sssgudge (the capital city of the Lava Men) and LITERALLY get a part time job there to pay for the room (because the Lava Men do not accept human currency) until the story is done.

LITERALLY.

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More Bike Ridin’ Photos

These might get annoying for subscribers if I post my stupid bike ride pics every night. Maybe in the future I’ll just take a bunch of pictures and do a weekly bike pic round-up or something. Whatever. Here are a few from tonight. I took a picture from the bridge, went and took a picture by the strawberry field, then went BACK to the bridge and took… YET ANOTHER PICTURE!!!!

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F@ Bike, SE Bikes – Mine

So a month or so ago I nabbed myself a F@ Bike (SEBikes), which I will show you now:

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Actually, it was a gift from my adoring wife and family. I love my bike. It’s tough and mean and shiny and red. I took my shiny red bike out for ride tonight (our second ride together ever). Just down to the boat landing and back. It’s about a mile total, all along the edge of Lake Nokomis. I hope to do lots of riding, and I’ll try to bring my camera with when I do. Sooner or later I’ll even venture out beyond the boat landing, so hopefully my sweet bike-riding pics will be interesting. Here are tonight’s offerings:

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Starting Chuggie #4

It’s dang exciting, folks! Up until now, Chuggie #4 has just been a pile of notes in various places. Magical lands to explore, monsters to face, demons to enslave, and portals to cross. Stuff like that. Tonight I put pen to paper (metaphorically. I was typing.) and set up a Microsoft Word document that isn’t a pile of notes or a character study or a tentative outline. It’s a chapter. The first chapter of the book. I took a screenshot for you. As I return to my writing of darkest fantasy on the monstrous and alien world of Mag Mell, I leave you with… this:

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Chuggie: Dark Fantasy Books

On a world called Mag Mell there roams a man by the name of Norchug Mot Losiat. Most just call him Chuggie, and he is one of four primordial plagues who’ve walked the land since the world was young. Within him lurks a deep, elemental thirst that gnaws at his mind constantly. He can drink a river dry. He can drain water from the clouds. He can even tear the moisture from living creatures for miles around, because Chuggie is the embodiment of Drought.

Centuries ago, Chuggie discovered that the intoxication of alcohol could dull the thirst. In a moment of drunken frustration, he placed a curse of permanence upon himself, and has wandered in a stupor ever since. With a spinning head and a boozy eye, he rambles through the land looking for a place where he might kick off his boots for a moment’s comfort.

Atop his elongated head are five bone-white horns, cleverly disguised as a hat. Across his chest hangs a looped chain, linked into his ribcage. At the end of the chain hangs an anchor in the shape of a woman. Oh, he might pick up a bone dagger here or a goat face purse there, but the horns, chain and anchor are part of him, never to be divided.

Mag Mell is a wild world, and few can survive long outside the safety of a city. It is a world with a twisted past and a mad future.

A world of Mischief, Mayhem, Want and Woe.

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Book 1: Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater

In the first installment of Mischief Mayhem Want and Woe, the horrors of Desecration will be unleashed upon Stagwater. Norchug Mot Losiat, Chuggie to his friends, is the embodiment of Drought. When, in his rambling, he stumbles upon the remote city of Stagwater, he finds love, temptation, and treachery. He must struggle against men, demons, and his own nature to combat the sinister forces threatening the city. But Chuggie? All he wants is a boat.

“I’m really not a fan of horror, but this one held my morbidly fascinated attention to the end. Originality sparkles throughout…” – Piers Anthony, author of the Xanth series

“With the earthy fantasy of Orson Card’s Hart’s Hope and the frolicking dark humor of the likes of Monty Python, Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater is a unique and stunning little piece of insanity. Brent Michael Kelley has proven he’s not just an interesting fantasy writer, but an altogether wild new breed of scribe.” – Benjamin Kane Ethridge, Bram Stoker Award Winning author of BLACK & ORANGE

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Book 2: Chuggie and the Bleeding Gateways

Chuggie, the perpetually intoxicated embodiment of drought, returns for another adventure in Chuggie and the Bleeding Gateways. It s been five days since the Desecration of Stagwater, and our hero has work to do. With the help of some ghostly new cronies, he searches for a lost little boy, explores a new world, and does his drunken best to avoid the clutches of pursuing Steel Jacks. What are the secrets of the bone dagger he carries? What allies and enemies will he find in the wilderness? Where will he get more booze? In the second installment of Mischief, Mayhem, Want, and Woe, Brent Michael Kelley takes us through the Bleeding Gateways to the strange horrors beyond.

“This is a formula for sheer mayhem, and it happens. This is just about the most bloody, gutsy, gruesome, stomach-turning violence I have encountered, and there can be real art in it. The author has a genuine talent for expressing awfulness in aesthetically-shaped analogies. There can indeed be beauty in garbage. If you want something clean and pleasant, stay well clear of this novel. If you want to revel in gore and ugly language, read it and be sated.” – Piers Anthony, author of the Xanth series

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Book 3: Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods

Strange winds have blown Chuggie to a world called Glughu. It is a realm of blood and bone where tar pumps like blood, where blood pours like wine, and where wine flows like booze. With the injured blade cultist Fey Voletta – as well as a painted woman named Araza – at his side, Chuggie crosses a tar-filled wilderness to reach the city of An Croi. It’s a city filled with fanatical killers in the service of a bloodthirsty master, who has conquered and imprisoned the old gods. A secret battle threatens to draw Chuggie in, but all our drunken hero wants is to get home to Mag Mell. The only way home is through a bleeding gateway, and to open one Chuggie will have to pay a heavy toll. Will Chuggie get home in time to prevent a war? What will he have to do to get there? How will he carry all that booze?

“Chuggie is the MAN! Brent Michael Kelley, you are a demon writer! When’s the next one?” – New York Times Best Selling Author Nancy Holder, author of The Wicked Saga and twenty Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel projects.

Featuring illustrations by David Francis Starr. Illustrations just like this:

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From left, you got: Fey Voletta, Chuggie, and Araza.

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Stand Alone Short Story:
Chuggie and the Fish Freaks of Farheath

Chuggie, the permanently intoxicated embodiment of Drought, has run into a bit of trouble in the city of Farheath Harbor. He is on trial for crimes he didn’t commit, and a guilty verdict means his execution. What happened down at the Farheath Docks? Is Chuggie too drunk to defend himself in such a trial? Will he be able to defeat his executioner in the ultimate battle of wits? Find out in Chuggie and the Fish Freaks of Farheath!

This one includes illustrations by the author! And his wife helped! Yay! What kind of illustrations? Well, since you ask, illustrations just like this:

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That guy’s called a Blatinid.

These are all available in paperback and ebook from Amazon.com. Signed copies can be purchased directly from me on my Store page.

The next Chuggie book is tentatively titled Chuggie and the Effigies of Cavewall Slick. Maybe a short story called Chuggie and the Nettlegoats of Nowhere County will come along to hold you over until book 4 is done. Maybe another short story. Maybe a bunch of stuff. OOH! I should make Chuggie trading cards!

Let me hear it folks. Leave a comment below or give a shout using my nifty Contact thingy.

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