Chuggie: Dark Fantasy Books

On a world called Mag Mell there roams a man by the name of Norchug Mot Losiat. Most just call him Chuggie, and he is one of four primordial plagues who’ve walked the land since the world was young. Within him lurks a deep, elemental thirst that gnaws at his mind constantly. He can drink a river dry. He can drain water from the clouds. He can even tear the moisture from living creatures for miles around, because Chuggie is the embodiment of Drought.

Centuries ago, Chuggie discovered that the intoxication of alcohol could dull the thirst. In a moment of drunken frustration, he placed a curse of permanence upon himself, and has wandered in a stupor ever since. With a spinning head and a boozy eye, he rambles through the land looking for a place where he might kick off his boots for a moment’s comfort.

Atop his elongated head are five bone-white horns, cleverly disguised as a hat. Across his chest hangs a looped chain, linked into his ribcage. At the end of the chain hangs an anchor in the shape of a woman. Oh, he might pick up a bone dagger here or a goat face purse there, but the horns, chain and anchor are part of him, never to be divided.

Mag Mell is a wild world, and few can survive long outside the safety of a city. It is a world with a twisted past and a mad future.

A world of Mischief, Mayhem, Want and Woe.

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Book 1: Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater

In the first installment of Mischief Mayhem Want and Woe, the horrors of Desecration will be unleashed upon Stagwater. Norchug Mot Losiat, Chuggie to his friends, is the embodiment of Drought. When, in his rambling, he stumbles upon the remote city of Stagwater, he finds love, temptation, and treachery. He must struggle against men, demons, and his own nature to combat the sinister forces threatening the city. But Chuggie? All he wants is a boat.

“I’m really not a fan of horror, but this one held my morbidly fascinated attention to the end. Originality sparkles throughout…” – Piers Anthony, author of the Xanth series

“With the earthy fantasy of Orson Card’s Hart’s Hope and the frolicking dark humor of the likes of Monty Python, Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater is a unique and stunning little piece of insanity. Brent Michael Kelley has proven he’s not just an interesting fantasy writer, but an altogether wild new breed of scribe.” – Benjamin Kane Ethridge, Bram Stoker Award Winning author of BLACK & ORANGE

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Book 2: Chuggie and the Bleeding Gateways

Chuggie, the perpetually intoxicated embodiment of drought, returns for another adventure in Chuggie and the Bleeding Gateways. It s been five days since the Desecration of Stagwater, and our hero has work to do. With the help of some ghostly new cronies, he searches for a lost little boy, explores a new world, and does his drunken best to avoid the clutches of pursuing Steel Jacks. What are the secrets of the bone dagger he carries? What allies and enemies will he find in the wilderness? Where will he get more booze? In the second installment of Mischief, Mayhem, Want, and Woe, Brent Michael Kelley takes us through the Bleeding Gateways to the strange horrors beyond.

“This is a formula for sheer mayhem, and it happens. This is just about the most bloody, gutsy, gruesome, stomach-turning violence I have encountered, and there can be real art in it. The author has a genuine talent for expressing awfulness in aesthetically-shaped analogies. There can indeed be beauty in garbage. If you want something clean and pleasant, stay well clear of this novel. If you want to revel in gore and ugly language, read it and be sated.” – Piers Anthony, author of the Xanth series

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Book 3: Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods

Strange winds have blown Chuggie to a world called Glughu. It is a realm of blood and bone where tar pumps like blood, where blood pours like wine, and where wine flows like booze. With the injured blade cultist Fey Voletta – as well as a painted woman named Araza – at his side, Chuggie crosses a tar-filled wilderness to reach the city of An Croi. It’s a city filled with fanatical killers in the service of a bloodthirsty master, who has conquered and imprisoned the old gods. A secret battle threatens to draw Chuggie in, but all our drunken hero wants is to get home to Mag Mell. The only way home is through a bleeding gateway, and to open one Chuggie will have to pay a heavy toll. Will Chuggie get home in time to prevent a war? What will he have to do to get there? How will he carry all that booze?

“Chuggie is the MAN! Brent Michael Kelley, you are a demon writer! When’s the next one?” – New York Times Best Selling Author Nancy Holder, author of The Wicked Saga and twenty Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel projects.

Featuring illustrations by David Francis Starr. Illustrations just like this:

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From left, you got: Fey Voletta, Chuggie, and Araza.

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Stand Alone Short Story:
Chuggie and the Fish Freaks of Farheath

Chuggie, the permanently intoxicated embodiment of Drought, has run into a bit of trouble in the city of Farheath Harbor. He is on trial for crimes he didn’t commit, and a guilty verdict means his execution. What happened down at the Farheath Docks? Is Chuggie too drunk to defend himself in such a trial? Will he be able to defeat his executioner in the ultimate battle of wits? Find out in Chuggie and the Fish Freaks of Farheath!

This one includes illustrations by the author! And his wife helped! Yay! What kind of illustrations? Well, since you ask, illustrations just like this:

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That guy’s called a Blatinid.

These are all available in paperback and ebook from Amazon.com. Signed copies can be purchased directly from me on my Store page.

The next Chuggie book is tentatively titled Chuggie and the Effigies of Cavewall Slick. Maybe a short story called Chuggie and the Nettlegoats of Nowhere County will come along to hold you over until book 4 is done. Maybe another short story. Maybe a bunch of stuff. OOH! I should make Chuggie trading cards!

Let me hear it folks. Leave a comment below or give a shout using my nifty Contact thingy.

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A Cool Winter’s Chug

Howdy, chums! Thanks for dropping by. So winter arrived a month early. We’re  all very excited about that. Got a snowblower blowing snow this time around, so watch out! I’m a man to be feared when I’m at the helm of that thing. And while I snowblow? Well, I like to listen to music. I started getting into Here Come the Mummies, and I was amazed to discover ALL of their music is free to download on their site.

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Got a few stories I’m kicking around, too. One’s a Young Adult Horror that involves collecting dew. Another is some nonsense about this Chuggie guy I’m always yapping about. The last one is a story-poem about a little boy named Jordy. In it, Jordy and his dogs (Mo and JP) go around counting critters. I think I’ll illustrate that one, too. (Or have the Wife illustrate it while I play “Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel” on my funputer as Handsome Jack’s Doppleganger. TORGUE SHOTGUNZ ROOL!) Maybe I’ll post that right here on this very web page once it’s done. How would that be?

Thanks to everyone who has purchased a copy of Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods so far! You guys are the coolest! If you’d like to purchase a signed copy, I got ‘em for sale on my Store page. If you act fast, it might even arrive before Christmas. MIGHT. Oh, and reviews are ALWAYS appreciated.

Lastly, you look fantastic today. Positively glowing.

 

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Stout and Chuggie

So recently I’ve been in contact with a lovely young lady from UW-Stout named Barbara. She works for the Stoutonia (Stout’s student newspaper), and she wanted to talk to me about these books I’ve been writing. I’m told that soon – perhaps even today – there could be a feature on me in hallowed pages of Stoutonia. I think that’s pretty neat. It’s got me feeling nostalgic, so I’m compelled by dark forces beyond my comprehension to post about Stout today.

I graduated from my dear old Bruce Public High School in 1997, and then I went to Stout. There, that’s my whole story. That didn’t take long. I’m a master storyteller, after all. Like a ninja with a typewriter, except that my typewriter is a laptop, and my katana is forged not of metal but the bones of a hundred demons.

But in case that wasn’t enough, I’ll go on to say that I never really thought much about going to another college. My brother – two years older – was already going there. In my visits to the campus, I was in love. I loved the town of Menomonie so much, I decided to extend my college experience by many semesters. And my instructors must have loved me, because they also wanted me to stay those semesters. In 2004, Stout and I waved a sad farewell to each other. I had a degree in Industrial Design, and it was time spread my wings.

While I was at Stout, a painting instructor told tales of her muse. I wanted a muse of my own, so I beseeched the cosmos to send me one. I was hoping for a female muse, preferably one who liked to wear skimpy clothes. The muse I got was an ancient, drunken man called Chuggie. He was a little surly, and he liked to tell colorful, profanity-filled stories. Some of his stories seemed like they’d been exaggerated, but they were good for a chuckle. I’d just discovered the music of Tom Waits, and it’s possible that had something to do with the whole situation. Monsters, madness, babes, blood, and booze. That’s Chuggie.

At Stout, I spent my first year living in 390 Oetting Hall with my pal Justin. We grew up together, and I was happy indeed when I first learned we’d both be going to Stout. We roomed together freshman year, then I moved off campus to 1704 South Broadway #1. He spent another year in the dorms, then he moved into 1704 with me, Lee, Roth, and Dan. Two Packer fans living with three Viking fans.

I delivered pizza for Little Caesar’s for a while. Worked at Dairy Queen some. Swiss Miss, Phillips Plastics, Badger Iron Works. Good times.

Ah, the stories I could tell but shouldn’t! Like the thing with the dartboard, or the five noteworthy stories from just that one Homecoming. So much tradition! While George R.R. Martin has House Stark, House Lannister, House Targaryen, and so on, Stout had her own Great Houses. Why, there were Lambda-Lambda-Lambda, the One-Eyed Turtle, Hoochie Hut, the Projects, and so many others to list them all would drive us both INSANE. And to my knowledge they haven’t existed for 10 to 15 years, so I don’t think I’ve just incriminated anyone…

Here’s some arts I made while I attended my glorious alma mater:

The Internal Derangement of Dr. Michael Goodnature

EFS Scarecrow

Octopus Mixer

Senior Project – Active Play

 

Some of the chums I went to Stout with are getting nice an’ successful with their degrees in Construction Management, Applied Math, Industrial Design, Graphic Design, Art Education, Hospitality & Tourism, Elementary Education, and so on. I forget where I was going with this, but yeah. Success stories. Awesome folks doing awesome things. Stuff.

I miss Stout. I haven’t been down to visit in a couple years, but maybe we should change that soon. Perhaps it’s time for a Chuggie reading at Stout. I would totally emerge from the forest for that. Bring some books, even. Maybe I’ll get fellow Stout grad David F. Starr to come along. He’s the guy responsible for the kickass art that dwells inside my new book Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods. Go check him out.

If you’re a Stout student or faculty member, I’d love to hear from you. Get the ol’ Menomonie update and stuff. You can comment below, or use my nifty Contact Thingy. Go Blue Devils.

 

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Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods

Chuggie is the MAN! Brent Michael Kelley, you are a demon writer! When’s the next one?” – New York Times Best Selling Author Nancy Holder, author of The Wicked Saga and twenty Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel projects.

-ermahgerd cherggers

 

Congratulations! YOU are now able to purchase Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods! This is a HUGE day for you!

Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods (official release date October 2) are upon us like a pack of banana-starved monkeys on the golden sands of Monkey Beach!

BUY. BUY. BUY.

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And if this is your kinda thing, chances are you know somebody else whose kinda thing is also this. I’d be awfully dern grateful if you shared this with your pals!

In case you missed it, here’s the synopsis:

Strange winds have blown Norchug Mot Losiat, better known as Chuggie, to a world called Glughu. It is a realm of blood and bone where tar pumps like blood, where blood pours like wine, and where wine flows like booze. With the injured blade cultist Fey Voletta at his side – as well as a painted woman named Araza – Chuggie crosses a tar-filled wilderness to reach the city of An Croi. It’s a city filled with fanatical killers in the service of a bloodthirsty master who has conquered and imprisoned the old gods. A secret battle threatens to draw Chuggie in, but all our drunken hero wants is to get home to Mag Mell. The only way home is through a bleeding gateway, and to open one Chuggie will have to pay a heavy toll. Will Chuggie get home in time to prevent a war? What will he have to do to get there? How will he carry all that booze?

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One Week To Chuggie

Greetings, Amigos! As you may or may not know, Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods will be released one week from today. That’s Thursday, October 2nd. It’s not only the birthday of Groucho Marx and Bud Gaugh, it’s also the birthday of my cousin Tim Bays, to whom this book is dedicated. Let’s have a look at the cover:

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SYNOPSIS!!!

Strange winds have blown Norchug Mot Losiat, better known as Chuggie, to a world called Glughu. It is a realm of blood and bone where tar pumps like blood, where blood pours like wine, and where wine flows like booze. With the injured blade cultist Fey Voletta at his side – as well as a painted woman named Araza – Chuggie crosses a tar-filled wilderness to reach the city of An Croi. It’s a city filled with fanatical killers in the service of a bloodthirsty master who has conquered and imprisoned the old gods. A secret battle threatens to draw Chuggie in, but all our drunken hero wants is to get home to Mag Mell. The only way home is through a bleeding gateway, and to open one Chuggie will have to pay a heavy toll. Will Chuggie get home in time to prevent a war? What will he have to do to get there? How will he carry all that booze?

Wow, that was an amazing synopsis. I don’t know about you, but I sure can’t wait to read it! I should mention that there’s art inside this book. WONDERFUL art by a fellow named David Starr. Here, have a taste of illustration:

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That’s Squip. Squip is a character in the book who you will totally root for. And you’ll be able to root for her soon indeed. October 2nd, chum. Mark it on your calendar. Stay tuned for giveaways and such coming up next week.

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Release of Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods

NOTICE: Chuggie and the Prisoner Gods has a scheduled release date of October 2, 2014. More on the significance of this date coming soon.

Also coming soon: the Book Cover!

Here’s a picture of some people in a tube.

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