I’ve been looking at a lot of vultures lately. I love me some vultures. They’re very honest, unlike the “majestic” eagle who basically behaves exactly the same. We’re on to you, eagles. Acting all high and mighty. We see you eating roadkill. Vultures are all like, “Yeah, we eat roadkill. It’s what we do.” But eagles are all like, “Feh! Roadkill? Lord Eagle has far too much dignity to befoul Lord Eagle’s sacred feathers and beak with blahblahblah.”

Okay, all of that was pointless. I just like vultures. I’ve been collecting vulture images from the interwebs. I thought I might as well share one I did a long time ago.

I think I’ll be reprising this one in the near future. You’ll be the first to know, comrade.

Beginning right NOW (Saturday, January 29, 2012), we’re giving away Chuggie & the Desecration of Stagwater on Amazon. This giveaway will end at the end of the day, so don’t delay. With Chuggie in your Kindle and Desecration in your heart, you’ll be well-prepared for the next Chuggie adventure.

What’s the next Chuggie adventure, you ask? Great question. Thanks for asking. All I can say is it is scheduled for release in September, 2012. And that’s ALL I can say about it. Oh, and I can mention it’s going to be wild. And I can also mention there’s going to be brutes, babes, and blood by the boatload. Crap, did I just give too much away?

Go getcher free e-book!

There is now a sample of Chuggie and the Desecration of Stagwater posted over at Omnium Gatherum. Click here to listen.

I think you’ll enjoy it.

Also, I’m working on a collaborator. We have a few stories that we’d like to hammer out together, and many more after that. I’ve encouraged him to quit his job so we can do a marathon writing session where we say “No Guinness until these goals are met.” We also discussed the logistics of such a writing session, and it isn’t too far-fetched. Don’t worry, you’ll know as soon as I’m able to report developments in this collaboration.

Chuggie recently posed for a drawing, so i sketched him up. I guess it’s a decent likeness. Chuggie said my first three attempts made him “look like a suitcase full ‘o cat necks,” whatever that means. Hopefully, I can get him to sit down to be sketched again soon.

I apologize, he refuses to be photographed. His exact words were:

“Y’know those damn things [cameras] shoot invisible poison arrows in yer brain. That’s how Smashy Gambles died. Smashy was one o’ these guys who always had to have the new toy, y’see. And he’d lord it over ya like a trophy or some damn thing. Poison arrows, poison arrows. Guy gets his brain stabbed up like a… That damn Smashy Gambles! Sonuvabitch stole thirteen bottles of Fireship from me back in Eastember Lowtown! I hope he died moanin’ in the mud. Nah, that’s a lil’ harsh for Smashy. ‘Sides, mighta been me stole the booze from him. Either way, whenever I see-”

He finished by mumbling incomprehensibly and snapping his attention to something out the window. He quickly got up, staggered to the door, and left without closing it behind him. I’m not positive he fully understood what a camera does, but Chuggie seems to have kicked mine under the couch when I wasn’t looking.

Subscribe to this page and you could win a Witch Finger. Just like this one:

That’s right. I will risk my neck by venturing out in search of one of the witches living in the woods near my house. I will further risk my neck by chopping off one of their fingers. A witch’s finger, as we recently learned, will turn to wood upon being severed. Once I have the finger, I will give it away to a lucky chum.

“This makes no sense, BMK. Tell me more.”

Once this site reaches 25 subscribers, I will raid the witches and harvest the finger. Then I’ll draw a name at random from the first 25 subscribers and send that person a Witch Finger. After that, all the non-winning names will be placed back in the hat. We’ll draw again once 50 people subscribe. Then again at 75. Then again at 100. This all, of course, assumes I’m able to find the witches, chop off one of their fingers, and escape with my life.

How do you subscribe? Look over on the right. See where it says “Subscribe By Email”? Enter your email address in there. You’ll get a confirmation email (to make sure you aren’t a robot and you haven’t been subscribed against your will). Once you’ve confirmed your subscription, you’ll be in the drawing to win one of these glorious and NOT CURSED* Witch Fingers! Good luck, chums!